Moving On to 007

An ounce of motivation is all i need.
to go to school next year and face that dreadful year of the Big As that is.
Or should i say i need that courage to be exact.

i found myself browsing through the archives of my blog, and discovered that my recent entries were not so much of gratitude as compared to those i wrote in the beginning of the year.

Then i asked myself, "Aren't I grateful any more?"

Truly, things have been rather discouraging of the late (before the retreat).
1. My results
2. My studies
3. How to move on

In fact, above all things, these are the things affecting me tremendously. But, i just do not know how to bring it out or rather i just chose to cast it away for the moment. But the year is ENDING, and i must face them ONCE MORE!

"a peculiar feeling though, gazing at my vicinity from the corridor of my flat, i see greenery, birds, the humongous blue sky that suspends over me. Not only that, but also the lovely fluffy clouds that float like marshmallows or cotton candy. Hey, thinking abt all these, i don't see life useless!
Its crazy how God gives us challenges in our lives, that sometimes, it really is challenging to think only of its beauty. Well, surely, even the most hideous thing has its own charm..
haha well, but the fact is that the earth and its wonderful nature is so beautiful by its own. Captivating and tranquil.
Its actually more sense that we humans are the ones pollute the beautiful earth God created. BEsides, he created nature first, didnt he?
Well, God created us because he loved us. BUt here i am, polluting it with my sins and discontentment.
Lord, father, thank you so much for the blessings you've showered me."

-Quoted from 20 February '06 Post.

i wanna think this way again...
thinking about studies, just sinks my heart.
Why can't i just be grateful and think about the day God allowed me to step into this dream college of mine?
Why can't i just have that mindset to work hard from just there?

"oh well, okay, it's like almost evryday that i get off school around 5 plus.
and its just the never ending tutorials and lectures evryday..
but im glad i am in school.
Somehow, when im tired, i just have to remind myself that I am in Meridian becos God answered my prayer and i can nvr be less thankful."

-Quoted from 30 March '06 Post

I want to have that motivated heart as before.
i want to fight on!
Help me Father, cause i am screaming for you now..
i wanna pull throught next year, feeling victorious.
As much as so much good happened the beginning of this year, now that it it's year end, i am grateful for many things too....

Chronologically...
1. MY PROMOTION.
Indeed, i've not done well, and it was bad. BUt Father, you allowed me to carry on..
Thank You.
Indeed, i've not put in much effort to buck up during the holidays, but i really wanna get that spur of energy and really fight on to do my best and do well!I want to! i MUST! i'm serious.

2. CONFLICTS.
i hated conflicts.
but now, solving them with my brothers and sisters..
it just made me love them.
The feeling of being resolved and coming out feeling as if i am lying on a cloud.
that fluffy and cool feeling.. =)

3. RETREAT.
Well, the retreat made me understand how a FAMILY really is.
And for so long, i didnt actually treat them all as my family.. setting standard for everyone.
But now, i learn so much to love, and to love for their mistakes cos that's what i get back too.
And the heart to heart talks were amazing.
It made me understand haha, brothers much more. And i love them still all the same!

4. SKIT.
This skit, brought us all together.

5. DATES.
Thank you shawn seet for arranging the dates. hee hee.
Dates- christian fellowship as what my mom always defines really allows me to learn to be encouraging and at the same time be encouraged.
And, i really was.
Thank you Elijah.
The walk in the library, discovering that book-"the history of God"(HAHA), the sharing about your life, about God, the way you encourage me and spur me on, the openess, the humility and giving heart, the awesome carl's junior dinner, the yummy wonka bars and wonka's sourlicious candy, that beautiful sunflower, the movie trip, how you patiently explained the movie to me..
oh man, great job. i am so grateful. =D

Lastly, I am grateful Father, that you give me a chance to start another year.. i know it's gonna be tough, but isnt it a new beginning? a new chance, new resolutions.
Like what lubin says," The first day of the rest of your life."
it really would be the first, the genesis of the rest of my life as 07 sparks off.

It will be amazing.

*this is to Jacinda, and EJ at e moment who complained that they'll dread the coming of school term. and to all who feels the same..