" I am so SCREWED."
that's what jun zhi said to mutter when i fail to keep up.
hypnotism or not, indeed, Fiona's SCREWED.
the days left can be counted by my bare hands.
it brings trepidation to my soul.
UNCERTAINTY. ANXIETY. FEAR. TREPIDATION. JITTERY. WORRY. AIMLESSNESS. DISTRESS. WEARINESS. STRESS. RUIN. DESPAIR. - are all in the list of my commonly used words. these is just a meagre portion.
Aragorn said,"I see in your eyes, the same fear that would take the heart of me.... A day may come when the courage of men fail, and we break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day.... This day, we FIGHT!"
-Words of a hero.
why not see words from my King:
"Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong."
"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."
ive been studying. sitting on the chair, changing my posture now and then.. eyes fixed on my sheets of paper.
but i feel like a snail.
so worn out, and so slow.
but unlike a snail, i dread my pace. ( i am sure a snail enjoys being slow, personal contentment isnt it)
Father, bring me through... for i only seek your help.
you are my armour, my all.
Fiona, be strong and courageous.
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Thursday, September 21, 2006
QUIT IT.
" I want you to know, you are rude and you are self righteous. It's good to be zealous but not cynical if you think that person is wrong. Go and think about it."
so thats me.
all because i told you abt not eating the chocolate in YOUR fridge.
i will say no more.
if thats what you think about me.
OK.
i'll relent. i will.
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its smouldering.
she feels as if she was sucked into a vacuum sack.
days are shorter for her.
she could cry a sackful of tears.
no clothe could sustain the hot tears that trickle down.
cos they burn.
rip her own hair off. yes, deprivation to this extent.
but she has got to continue.
persevere on, even at the last breathe. win.
so thats me.
all because i told you abt not eating the chocolate in YOUR fridge.
i will say no more.
if thats what you think about me.
OK.
i'll relent. i will.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
its smouldering.
she feels as if she was sucked into a vacuum sack.
days are shorter for her.
she could cry a sackful of tears.
no clothe could sustain the hot tears that trickle down.
cos they burn.
rip her own hair off. yes, deprivation to this extent.
but she has got to continue.
persevere on, even at the last breathe. win.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
HELP
O someone, help!
There is no time to lose, and up the mountain i must climb.
But i see no where, just an empty road.
I try, but i am walking with no avail.
I've not met the enemy,
I've not reached the destination.
But every step i take,
it is just nearer.
But am i at all equipped? am i at all prepared?
O dear God, help me.
in distress i walk,
so weak, so lost...
its a battle i must win.
But i don't seem an inch more courageous
nor prepared.
I MUST CONQUER!
help.
just barely 18 days. and it's the promos.
it was not but 30 days i thought. and now with the blink of my eye.. im down to 18!
and only 18!
Its not good... an ominous sign, foreboding.
but its victory i must clinch. It has got to be victory!!
Fight on Fiona, fight hard.. fight hard with your Armour.
There is no time to lose, and up the mountain i must climb.
But i see no where, just an empty road.
I try, but i am walking with no avail.
I've not met the enemy,
I've not reached the destination.
But every step i take,
it is just nearer.
But am i at all equipped? am i at all prepared?
O dear God, help me.
in distress i walk,
so weak, so lost...
its a battle i must win.
But i don't seem an inch more courageous
nor prepared.
I MUST CONQUER!
help.
just barely 18 days. and it's the promos.
it was not but 30 days i thought. and now with the blink of my eye.. im down to 18!
and only 18!
Its not good... an ominous sign, foreboding.
but its victory i must clinch. It has got to be victory!!
Fight on Fiona, fight hard.. fight hard with your Armour.
Thursday, September 07, 2006
free
Captured.
but innocent and pure;
clean.
your white feathers,
never stained.
even through the roughest weathers.
they caught you,
barred from freedom.
they cut you,
your blood dripped into a bowl.
Dry,
you bled.
you were forsaken,
and I,
gloriously soaked in your agony- your stain.
That i,
emerged clean and renewed,
Red.
Free to fly,
a new dressing, a new coat.
With redness so pure,
That cleansed a germ like me.
I fly away.
Grateful.
just suddenly inspired to write one.. not perfect, but just a penny for my thoughts.
perhaps this is a dedication to EJ, one who is renewed.
Here, its for you.. :) a penny for your thoughts too.
How awesome it is, to fly away, red in His blood. That we all fly together, completely drenched in blood so red, but so free.
go TEENS!~ ahaha
oh anyway, i bid xavier goodbye as he is off to be a "better man". oh man , just wish him really the best and so much best wishes. I guess it's a part and parcel of life.. where we often bid goodbyes and say our hellos. ooh well.....
and yes, so much for studying this week.. today wasnt the best.. in fact, it was bad.. didnt do much at all.. but hey, im glad there is always a tomorrow.. *OPTIMISM* i guess that's how God gives us second chances huh. Having one day a week sure would be depressing.if that would be so, that one day surely would have to be SUNDAY! haha, oh man.. enough of dreaming....
Thank you Father, that i am the sheep of your pasture.
but innocent and pure;
clean.
your white feathers,
never stained.
even through the roughest weathers.
they caught you,
barred from freedom.
they cut you,
your blood dripped into a bowl.
Dry,
you bled.
you were forsaken,
and I,
gloriously soaked in your agony- your stain.
That i,
emerged clean and renewed,
Red.
Free to fly,
a new dressing, a new coat.
With redness so pure,
That cleansed a germ like me.
I fly away.
Grateful.
just suddenly inspired to write one.. not perfect, but just a penny for my thoughts.
perhaps this is a dedication to EJ, one who is renewed.
Here, its for you.. :) a penny for your thoughts too.
How awesome it is, to fly away, red in His blood. That we all fly together, completely drenched in blood so red, but so free.
go TEENS!~ ahaha
oh anyway, i bid xavier goodbye as he is off to be a "better man". oh man , just wish him really the best and so much best wishes. I guess it's a part and parcel of life.. where we often bid goodbyes and say our hellos. ooh well.....
and yes, so much for studying this week.. today wasnt the best.. in fact, it was bad.. didnt do much at all.. but hey, im glad there is always a tomorrow.. *OPTIMISM* i guess that's how God gives us second chances huh. Having one day a week sure would be depressing.if that would be so, that one day surely would have to be SUNDAY! haha, oh man.. enough of dreaming....
Thank you Father, that i am the sheep of your pasture.
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