Faith

Everything that does not come from faith is sin.

I am such a sinner.
O me of little faith, give me that strength to surrender what is to come to you, Lord.
I am excited to live this life of faith, only to wake up every morning, failing to be faithful.
I don't want to only be impacted momentarily, I want to be utterly resolved- drenched with the knowing of Your love, and full of believe that my cup if filled with your promises, that every step I take is a footprint of fulfillment.

I want to do my best, so that I can allow you to do the rest.

Sigh

I am an artist at living- my work of art is my life.

My palette is broken, i've run out of colours and my brush has hardened.
How am I going to re-paint this picture that has been hung up on the wall for me to see?
So much for changing this life.
I'm tired of the changing perspectives that i ought to possess- those "think positive" kind of technique.
The fact is, you are no longer my father.
So clearly stated in the papers you've signed, you have chosen to break away.
But your blood runs through my veins!
I thought I've gotten my mind off you since you walked away 6 years ago.
But, this reality has crumpled my mind, and every neurone just twitches with the thought of you gone.
My nerve impulses are inconsistent, I can't accept it.
I am sad!

Perhaps,

inside my heart is breaking, my make-up may be flicking, but
my smile still stays on.

Drive your taxi and perhaps i'll hitch your ride one day.

for once

for once, L, I see how you may be hurt and I truly sympathize.
I understand your emotional trauma and perhaps, am glad I am learning from your plight.
Well, maybe you should consider, trying to live life for yourself and just be happy.
This is what I am striving to do too.

for once, L, I see you vulnerable and realise , how I am weak in my emotions as well.
well, I am learning to stand tall and think well.

L, it won't go away just in a snap. But brave through this stormy season, and it will be okay.
I am braving through it too. The storm will pass over.

L, if someone is going to feel lesser, do not blame yourself for feeling much more. Just live this life for yourself, and move on.


move on, for myself.

hatred

you've pierced me with the rusted nail you've held in your hands thus long.
yet, you appear in front me, clean and without blemish.
I do not understand.
I can't hold on.

My blood boils with detest of you now.
__ ____ ___ ___ ____ ________.

Without you

I went out with a company of three today,
that made 4 of us.
We roamed the streets all day,
and we didn't even fuss.

In fact the fun I got,
was over the moon,
and what not.
I forgot utterly of my struggles so soon.

I think the time was cool,
and it wasn't that bad without you.
I couldn't be such a fool,
to mull over just you.

Come back.






the job is a mist of fog that i can't predict.
clueless, frightened.