anxiety

O lord, calm my anxious heart...

well, as much as i am filled with anxiety, i feel so inspired as well.
so so inspired. utterly inspired.
God has really been hanging on with me..
Evry step of my life, he has never failed to walk with me.
Boy am i blessed.
Writing my speech, thinking of what i want to share, praying so much for inspiration, God just gave it to me..
somehow, as i reflect, i feel that there is actually so many things in my life i feel so blessed abt.
i'm so happy to be who i am today, becos God brought me up..
Thinking abt God, just makes my eyes brim with tears.
He is like the wind somehow, i cant see him, but i feel him so strongly.
He has always been there.... never leaving me.
lol. wah, thn he can be my husband already, dun needa marry!
oh well, he has a plan for me still.. and i surrender it all to him..

right now, in my life, at this instance.. i just feel that God is within me.. living in my heart..
so close.. so intimate.. always there..
my heart beats becos he allows it to..
i breathe because evry breath is his love..

My God is an awesome God..

working

oh well... well, its 3:38pm now..
my brain juice is drained...
i just couldn't think of an incident in my life that i burst out after suppressing my bitterness for a long time..
i just couldnt remember!!! and i hve to!
forgetful me.. oh well.. argh, stressssseeeddd la.
just have to keep reminiscing abt my past and pray for inspiration..
O lord! i need the inspiration..
haha..

well, the weather seems to be having mood swings..
one moment it rains, another moment it turns sunny.
to think its e first time i brought an umbrella out and i didnt use it at all!!
when im out, it is sunny.. when im in, it just rains..
oh well, but i guess its a blessing in disguise somehow..

alright, im just thinking thinking thinking right now.. THINK!!!

heeelllllpppp!
oh, i guees, i would hve to sit on my thinking chair. hee hee.
but there are so many chairs.. dunno which one is my thinking chair. haha.

inspire me Lord!

--

one thing i just learnt not long ago:
A sheep is the stupidest animal among animals.
1. it cant be trained.
2. it has to be fed- if u leave it alone to graze, it will just munch on the same spot of grass
and eat up all the soil too! ewww.
3. it cant clean itself.
4. it cant defend itself

gosh, poor thing! can u believe it? its like a big baby! well, i guess thats why it needs a shepherd.
i think if they see danger, they would just go "baaaaaAaaa". lol so spastic.
but well, i would love to be a sheep.. its ok to be stupid, but at least i will be simple.. then, my dear lord will be my shepherd to lead the way.. how nice!! =)
oh well, but its just me sometimes, not allowing my shepherd to guide me along...
i think i hve been somehow in an imaginary world lately.. i guess somehow, when one's free,
he'll just imagine and imagine.. or perhaps build castles in the air.

so well, thats what i did.
but well, i just imagined abt being in heaven.. thn i thot, well, God loves me..
so i guess evry morning when i open the windows, the birds sing a love song for me. when i open the door, on the mat lies a bouquet of flowers to brighten up my day.. in my backyard, an apple tree with its trunk bearing my name and God's etched in a heart carved so perfectly. how beautiful!
when i sleep God tucks me in with the sweetest lullaby that he sings oh so sweetly in my ears..
he even tells me bedtimes stories if i couldnt sleep. Gosh, i love that!
i anticipate that day to come..

evryday, i just feel that in every air that i breathe, i take in God's love..
Life is Good, Heaven is awesome..
Oh father, how i long to be with you in eternity!!!
hee =D

everyday is a new day!

yipee

heee, just got a new skin..
dunno why, but was looking for sumthing simple..
so i thot this was beautiful... =)

God is awesome.
Thank you.

metanoia

"Life is useless, i have nth to live for"
"I'd rather die"
"Whats my purpose in life? suffer i guess"
" Life is stupid"

sound familiar? i guess its common these days.. how people actually think life can be so miserable..
for me, i admit, life can be a real chore itself.
life IS tough.
a peculiar feeling though, gazing at my vicinity from the corridor of my flat, i see greeeney, birds, the humongous blue sky that suspends over me. Not only that, but also the lovely fluffy clouds that float like marshmallows or cotton candy. Hey, thinking abt all these, i don't see life useless!
Its crazy how God gives us challenges in our lives, that sometimes, it really is challenging to think only of its beauty. Well, surely, even the most hideous thing has its own charm..
haha well, but the fact is that the earth and its wonderful nature is so beautiful by its own. Captivating and tranquil.
Its actually more sense that we humans are the ones pollute the beautiful earth God created. BEsides, he created nature first, didnt he?
Well, God created us because he loved us. BUt here i am, polluting it with my sins and discontentment.
Lord, father, thank you so much for the blessings you've showered me.

Now, its so true, whenever i go home, i look at every part of my hse with a different meaning and different perspective after shawn wooten's msg.
It just convinces me tt, in everywhere, there is a purpose, and from every mistake, is a chance to change.

The past week i had was mundane i can say.. lotsa thinking abt which school i wanna put in my choices.. but i knw God made me put what i chose.. so, no regrets.
sometimes, i just feel so much gratitude towards God, that i do not knw how to express it..

Father, thank you so much for ur flawless love for me.
Your love is patient, your love is kind , it doesnt envy, it doesnt boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, not self seeking, not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.Your love doesnt delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, trusts, hopes, perseveres.
Your love for me, NEVER FAILS.

O lord! i dont deserve it at all! but yet i am receiving it all!!
I knw lord, my life is never miserable because of you..
Besides, i am a foreigner in this land, my home is with you, in HEAVEN!

=)

valentines just passed, a whle ago....
gosh, just cant stand people carrying roses, standing outside the restaurants and holding hands with their dates.

if only, a dozen of roses and an iced latte.. thats all i ask for.
lol
im dreaming... seeing my date only in a vision...
oh misery.!
ok, i will wait.
i knw God is hinting me to wait cos he will provide a most perfect one soon.

but its crazy today.
sitting on the sofa the whole day, eyes fixated at the moving images in the tv.
cos im so addicted to this korean show now, so in love witht his guy Hyun bin.
jacinda and i were like couch potatoes.
well, doing this made me feel better abt not having a date.
thinking abt hyun bin is gd enough.
lol

but ok, ytd was still over and a brand new day begins.
so, well, its still another day afterall.

haha.

let me dream again.
----"candlelit dinner, cosy ambience, french restaurant, yummy cuisine, 99 roses, a quartet playing,a handsome date, a walk in the park, a nice movie to catch, handful of surprises, a nice sweet gift............." woo hoo. great DREAM.

valentines

petals of roses are falling from the velvety blue sky.
love is in the air.
and passion is burning, spreading through evry forest.

valentine's it is.
wonder how this name originated.
sounds all so lovey dovey.
and how am i gonna spend it?
lol
in the cutest way ever.

but well, sometimes, i just wish i had a date.
perhaps with Johnny Depp? van nistelrooy? i dun mind rooney.
how abt daniel radcliffe?
any korean actor, would be fine.
but well, the best would be one i love.
my fav bro? lol

but hey, im spending it in the most special way.
with my beloved sisters.
sound so les.
but hey, celebration of friendship u knw!
also, spending it with my Father in heaven...
frankly, this way of celebrating valentines is most fufilling of all!
haha.

i will treat God to iced latte and lotsa chocolates. i will sing his praises and glorify him.
i will love those around me, cos i love him.

oh well, how romantic is that? =)

but still, i knw God will give me a chance to spend a valentine's with one i love.
perhaps now, he just wants to hold on to me.
well, now, i still wanna love him even more first, b4 spending valentines with a human.
haha, romancing God....

but well, i knw tmr.. its going to be special...
perhaps not particularly for me..
but well, its a day of love.
and God is love.
and love, should be shared.
so what if i receive nth, let me give...
i wanna love.

its really amazing this thing called Love.
for life and living
the ought of giving
and a vow made for eternity.
its like oxygen
it lifts us up where we belong.
all u need is love!

f.aith

Faith is being sure of what i hope for and certain of what i do not see. Period.

im fine.
taking every step with faith is what i will do.
its gonna be great.
im super fine.
im calm.
im happy.
well, thats what i am telling myself.

but as friday is a step closer, i just start having trepidations, cold sweat and seizures, mental seizures. its crazy. i definitely sound like someone who has like Fits attack or something.
but truly, tts how i feel.
but yet again, its true tt God blesses. Its true that his plan is perfect and prosperous for me..

Here i am, standing in the need of prayer, and i truly pray for e best results.. college! college!
well, im swallowing my saliva. taking every step with lotsa caution.
i'm not going to be paranoid, i will not go berserk.
i will keep God in my heart, and walk straight forward.
Take e results, look at it, and move on.-with acceptance.

God loves me, i knw.
Lord, i knw u do.
Lord, all i ask for, is e best i can get, with a tinge of faith and courage.


i know u hear me.

Are we?

Just a few questions that bug me though...

Are we deep enough?
Are we truthful at all?
Are we united?
Are we loving enough?
Are we sparing a thought for one another?
Are we encouraging always?
Are we putting one another as our standards instead of God?
Are we only saying things but not doing them?
Are we anxious to make a change?
Are we eager to learn?
Are we humble enough to accept challenges?
Are we shining like stars to the world?

Whats the answer?