thoughts

okay.. no fancy msg or creatively crafted posts today..
but i just wanna pen how i feel and all for the pass weeks.. =)

ok, its no more miss whitey smile anymore.. but miss bracey face.
i just had my braces on, unknowingly..
ok, i just wasnt prepared.. i thot i would be there for ONLY an extraction but then he started drawing my teeth and pasting some small pieces of brackets on them... then in my heart, i thot, "uh oh.... so is it....?" anyway, it was!
my heart was palpitating, tremendously.
at tt time, the radio was playing Simple plan's "untitled" too.. so it just added on to the miserable mood... '.... And I can't stand the pain.. And I can't make it go away.. No I can't stand the pain..... I just wanna scream How could this happen to me...'
indeed, just how i felt.. not completely though..
lol cos it didnt turn out like that bad.. i asked for it, didnt i?

but well, indeed it was a pain. However, pain isnt my life, pain isnt everything...
i experienced so much joy.. i thot, tt teeny pain didnt even occupy a paragraph in my book of life. what joy, not the joy of putting e braces of cos..
but well, the joy of having people in my life.
im glad my world isnt revolving around only me..
indeed, its just such a vast difference.. floating on a plank in the sea alone and being tossed in the huge waves holding a friend's hand.
this week.. in fact these few weeks..
im just so encouraed receiving messages evryday.. being informed of how my dear brothers and sisters are doing..
imgine, in the middle of a boring math lecture.. the phone beeps and boo! a msg frm a fellow christian. gosh, it indeed perks my mundane day. =) u'll see me smiling dumbly to myself, but i dun mind! hahaa.
well, sometimes, in life.. u just get to a point where u just wanna stop and tke a break , breathe a little..
but life yet can be so hectic that it would seem almost unreasonable to do so.
anyway.. ive been craving for tt.
in fact.. my pace has somewhat slowed down..
well, indeed this june would be studying for me and all.. having to prepare for my exams which starts tmr, but continues aft the hols..
but hey, i feel happy being able to vacate frm school for several weeks.. plan some free fun times.. and have fun with my awesome friends. not only that, but also to have more dates with dad above.
i guess dad's waiting.. and i cant wait too.. to spend some really gd time with Him.
the bullet train ride.. it still goes on, and ive yet to unboard it..
but hey, a train ride isnt all just abt riding on it! im gonna have fun on it! =)

one thing i wanna work on abt myself,
is to really be in touch with my feelings.. somehow, when term actually started..
i've yet to truly feel how i feel and express it..
(perhaps more d grps would help.. heeh)
im still learning indeed.. Lord teach me to help people around me.. esp the young teens. help me to be a friend and a sister to them, to help them.
Sometimes, scchool and school work just drowns me..
well, i dont want tt to be my life.. just somehow need to strike a balance between my relationship with papa and school stuff.
im torn dad, i need you completely in my life..
im so unworthy..
but the worthy you, suffered with so much humility and pain. I'll never forget that, never.
so instead, dad, i knw i'll not be perfect, but i'll do my best to glorify you..
so tt that day on the cross wasnt for nothing for me.
but dad, i wanna reunite with u in that paradise. i want you to pat my head and sae "well done". I want satan to cry. I want to be like you, Father.. cos im your image arent i?
Dad, i love you, forever. i do.
=)