Things

Life can just go on and on, even when we feel it should stop and take another route.

So many times, I feel like I should give life a pause, and rewind or maybe even a fast forward, although fast forwards are usually unwise in my opinion.

I feel that all these things I face can be such a torment at times.

But when I think again, I could have been a worse person without those things.

When I look at life, I feel amused sometimes.

Perhaps I may be tickled by life's absurdities, bored by how things can be such a routine, or even just laughing because things can be that bad.

I am such a critic, but being critical does not make me the judge I always think I am, but instead, always analyzing, and reading more into things just make me see.

I see how life is. I see other's perspectives. And I see God's love.

I know life is never possible to be judged with our naked eyes and minds. No matter how hard we read into possibilities and matters, we can never derive with the perfect answer, even when we are the storytellers.

I am looking at things, just as things are, and I am trying to love them.

Run.

I love what I see when I run.
I start comprehending the beauty of the world God has made.
I don't want to stop running.
And this is the wonder of it.

Tonight, I run, and I see the glamour of the dark.
I can't wait!
Run, run, and conquer the night!!!

So this is life.

I search for the true meaning of life, 

and attempt to discover Happiness. 

But if Happiness is "good fortune, pleasure, contentment, and joy", 

what exactly defines such things?

The wonderful colours of nature, 

the perfectly spaced universe.

All life on this earth that dwell, and grow-

beautiful.

Is this happiness?

"It is not enough!" the mind whispers sinisterly.

The desire for love, 

the want of attention.

Attraction, beauty, vanity.

Is this happiness?

The attainment of glory, and fame.

Thriving wealth.

A life of class, and status.

Is this happiness?

Indulgence? 

The art of mixing alcohol, wine.

The highness that can cast sorrows away.

Is this happiness?

Albeit when I visualize that 

one fine day, 

such things will pass away,

I find that these do not define happiness.

Life has got to be simpler.

But we all simply want more, don't we?

The Camera

I clicked on this shutter,

and my image froze.

A brand new beginning, 

it is a heavy dose.

The tape plays on, 

and I watch it go.

A sea of colours moving past, 

as they amused me so.

I visited the scene of "lessons", 

and it made my eyes open.

It wasn't those that made me dose, 

but to be active and out-spoken.

The people, I say 

have made me smile.

And however hard it is, 

it should be worthwhile.

This is Campus.

Today

I am so happy that I get to wake up slightly later today and not the usual 5.30.
The weather's kind of gloomy today, but I feel at peace, unusually.
I am looking forward to work, although today will be a long day- from 12oo to 2300.
What's exciting will be, going down to market street to work with a whole new lot of company this afternoon!
Well, I am quite nervous, afraid of breaking the ice here and there etc. but, I really am looking forward to the experience! =D

School's almost starting and fear seems to be more vivid in my mind.
Coping and paying are my greatest uncertainties.
Also, my deceitful heart can be a great enemy.

I am going to trust.
And be happy.

Love, Fiona

Next step

The next step is not easy.
It is harder than expected.
My mind is clouded with fear and uncertainties.
The next step is not easy.

And it hasn't even begun.

Who's Me?

These waters never fail to flow incessantly down those hot, flustered cheeks.
These days, have not been one of the best.

Everything is not going well.

How do I find that me, who delights in all that I do?
I am faithless.
I am weak.
I am powerless.
I need your POWER to REST on ME!

Everything is painful.

I never thought working would be so displeasing.
Even at work, I am faced with challenges and stumbling blocks that tear me apart.
They make me question myself, me.

I never thought the me at home builds a fortress around myself.
Everyday at home just makes me indignant, and sucked.
I want my space; my comfort zone.

I never thought moving on was so tedious.
Letting go of some pasts seems entirely harder than removing superglue from my fingers.
And what's ahead, just remains clearly bleak, and aimless; completely unpredictable.
But one thing I know, it is not going to be easy.

Lift your head high, walk on. Do not fear.
Remember that Faith. Just that little bit.
Rely.